Today, at my regular day job, one of my co-workers asked me about my writing. She commented that she sees I always have some notebook open with scribbles next to me--not that I'm avoiding doing my day job, it's just that I get ideas at any moment and need something to write with. She then asked if I just did it for fun. Seeing as I just read a thought provoking blog post by Kameron Hurley, I thought I might answer that in a little more detail.
I told her that writing was my passion, and I did dream of becoming a professional and published author one day. But of course it is fun! It's the most fun thing I do all day. Like I told her and many others, I'm full of these stories that just need to come out. I literally get twitchy if I have gone a while with writing something.
With an inbox of rejections looking back at me, I've been wondering lately if that big dream would ever come about. I'm starting to come to better terms with leaving all the worrying aside and having some faith and hope. How can I get published if I'm worrying and not writing? Writing has to be fun, or it only results in an awful pile of garbled words. No one wants to read that. I certainly don't.
I recently had to put a short story on hold because it stopped being fun. I knew I had to finish it by the deadline, but I had no idea how to fill in the plot holes. I stared at the blank screen for hours, all while other ideas tempted the back of my mind. When I tried to force out anything, it became a chore and the story suffered. By working on the "fun" ideas, I was able to recharge and actually think of a better idea for the story on hold. While it means finishing it in the distant future, I feel better about not forcing out something I didn't like. In that time, I finished two other new stories.
But I have to think of the business side too, which also played into the reason for putting that story on hold. The semi-original plan is to have prequel short stories being out before or right after Resurrected Thief comes out. Now waiting on answers and not knowing when anything will get accepted does often cause issues with that plan, but it hasn't changed my motivation. I have to brand or establish my Victorian fantasy to publishers and the world. Unfortunately, stories about dragons and elves sent thousands and thousands of years earlier, doesn't exactly help. Nor does the fact it doesn't all make sense without a glimpse at my master plan.
Like I said before, I don't want to pigeon hole myself. At the same time, I want to show that this alternate world of mind is world worth investing in. I'm not quite in any of the established genres yet, but I have to show that isn't a bad thing after all. But I have to do it while having fun, or there really isn't much of a point to it.
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